sexuality

Sexuality

Well, i’ve explored my sexuality – not as much as i could, but about as much as ive felt natural with. With doing so i’ve met others who’ve explored further examples of sexuality – more power to them! That dead bloke who directed some films expressed it quite well:

“Understand that sexuality is as wide as the sea. Understand that your morality is not law. Understand that we are you. Understand that if we decide to have sex whether safe, safer, or unsafe, it is our decision and you have no rights in our lovemaking.”

—

Derek Jarman . From 8 years old I was sexualized, against my will, yet it was an education. Of male to male sexuality. I buried such ‘abuse’ into my child mind & did a damn good job, thank you, even with this psychological trauma to deal with – possibly it influenced my destructive school daze, maybe it inspired my ‘death wish’ – what it didn’t do is turn me into a pedophile! Even tho people who’d I disclosed my history to, in a crazy phase of disclosure, and in trust (ha ha ha) were to use this disclosure as evidence that I was a pedophile.

Fucking cunting wanking shite! Ok, i – oh yes i know that some sick screwed up fuck-tards use the ‘i was abused, so thats why i abuse others’ defence when they are caught out abusing people but and its not a big fucking but....i know, as ive always known, that abusing someone is bad. Everyone knows that. Unless you are a sick fucking individual who has a mental health problem or as they say in the trade a personality disorder, then you are a sick-twisted-fucker who abuses kids & i honestly don’t care if they wanna kill you or use you in vivisection experiments. In fact I’d probably think this would be a good use of your breath upon this beautiful planet. Unless you can prove you are not a risk anymore! And hows that gonna happen?

Questions, no real answers! That’s the usual run of things isn’t it! Anyroad i’m no law-maker & as this is my epitaph – might as well tell my personal history.

Had a usual introduction to the opposite sex at the appropriate time – our hormones & puberty had changed my thoughts/feelings/everything really...and i guess i wanted to check out girls as much as girls wanted to check out boys...and we did, as much as was humanly possible! Crosslink with the sex page!?

Ok i seemed to be a natural human boy from around 14 til 26 following all natural urges. Following the earths natural patterns, cool. But then the government introduced section 28 – which outlawed ‘promoting homosexuality’ and I felt incensed!  How dare this so-called elected body decide what was right or wrong in peoples lives. So i became mega militant.