Early days

3Early days

so ive revealed the dark secrets that formed my forename…..my surname, well that too has hidden depths…lol not really. Family name = shaw. Old English it means a wood, collection of trees. In fact when I was doing an ill-fated PGCE aRt teaching course (based at wetherby?lol) I went to a Pudsey school called Crawshaw – which olde English meaning is wood of crows or crow wood. Fascinating huh? I think the welh equivalent (without the use of the internet or search engines – I stress to add…just mine own addled brian – er, brain…Cwmbran (an area of or near Newport. South wales) means crows wood – possibly [yes I will use the internet & various search engines to not make myself look a total wally! At a later time].

Anyway Ian Shaw is what I was given – to welcome the world. By 14 I’d become yan shaw. At a later date I became yan tree! Funny old world. I’d chosen a name that was European yet also the same as what it was before but still it seemed more punk rock than before….oh have I mentioned pun k rock yet? Ha ha ha

Oh gotta go back to the naming chap cuz I just remembered another bit of my story. Laters…. Right, done the Phil bit, he may crop up later….depends how far I peel off my layers of history. Right im in a bit of a quandary now coz I don’t really know how to begin this. Yes, ok ive done an intro, ive done a brief ‘naming’ bit but really where should I start? As I cant actually remember much of my childhood. I guess it was usual & generally happy – may ask my parents & brothers if they have any info & maybe friends too – if they are able to share any info.

So, what can I remember from my childhood? Vague memories filter through of primary school – IrelAND WOOD primary school. And playing with friends from my street – lol sound so working class! Tbf my mom & dad were from staunchly working class backgrounds – they worked themselves & us, into middle class suburbia of local city of Leeds. I don’t know much about their existence upon the planet to be honest. And parents are so very important! So I’m gonna send a text to my mum asking about her life & her family & her upbringing. & the same to my dad! Will get back to my childhood eventually but now feel my parents lives are/were way more important to my current ramblings – I mean who were my grandparents, what did they do – what were thneir school experiences, they had to live through various explosives times!

like this - my grandma (r.i.p. :

awesome! my mate Siobhan lived in the same street as this photo or very close anyways, funny huh)
 

Man, this is an awesome topic. Do I care if it gets published, no. its just a mad wild project that will mean something to me – not caring for anything else. Truly! So, sent the text to my mum – will update as & when possible!

Oh my fucking goddess – just realised that, true ive made many friends in my life but holy evil batman! Ive made a lot of enemies too! Not thru trying tbf just by happenstance methinx. Oh sorry, if you hate me & you read this (as if!) or you read this & then decide you hate me – oh well, such is life & shit. I’ve done many bad fucking evil shit-fucked up bastarding things in my life – many I bitterly regret! Wishing they’d never ever happened but they did & they’ve left an impression on me to the person I am today. No matter how little or slight or how big or huge the good/bad discretion – its all made an impression on me. Just to let you know. If you're one of the people who feel I’ve fucked over – not that you’ll ever read this – satan I’m not that egotistic to imagine you will! But in some parallel universe you could – so if youre in that parallel universe – im mega fucking sorry dude! I am/was such a fucking stupid idiot & I regret everything. Really I do! I’ve never ever wanted to cause harm, hurt or suffering to anyone or anything on this planet – universe – cosmological wilderness – we all share! SORRY!

Just gonna shoot to the bad chapter! From what I, personally, can remember!