Sex

Sex

Apart from the early encounters with sex – from a victims perspective of abuse – alluded to somewhere else. The natural progression I encountered was a much more natural evolution – though just as flawed and fucked up – no pun intended!

Apart from my mom showing me how to kiss, I remember asking her – probs due to sexploitation – yet she showed me its lips on lips. Freud potentially could have a field-day of Oedipal proportions with this info, how about reading Charlie & the chocolate factory to me by Roald Dahl, or dodi smiths 100 and 1 dalmations – and even later when we found the sequel @starlight barking’...or was that me doing a search in the libraries a zillion years before google, listening to people talk & hearing my wondering mind....just ‘wondering’ if dodi smith had written anything else i might like cuz her book was awesome & happening to find out....why, why yes she had, another book of those abso bloody awesome dogs & their amazing stories! Why the hell didn’t she write a whole shelves worth of stories about those bloody dalmations!!!!! See how i can go negative?! Anyroad up – this was the book i found miraculously in a tepee whilst collecting strawberries when the strawberry collection season had ended. No word of a lie. So maybe i didn’t do all this sleuthing detective work myself & its hindsight that made me wish i had...cuz all of the truth i know is i had the book read to me at bedtime, by my mum & later by myself (i may’ve devoured it & imagined every woprd in a blissful animation in my mind...i only saw the cartoons in the last decade or so!) and that i was in a teepee- strawberries were a feature & i read ‘starlight barking’ in therte! So there.

 Well it was a game of truth or dare, in our garage with andi’s gf. Mustve been about 11 yo. And was my 1^st French kiss! Weird – she used a tongue in my mouth, how bizarre! Same or similar day had my 1^st cigarette too. Shit, still smoking now – downer!

Why did I start here? Bizarre! There was me, rick & another boy? Cant remember his name & 3 girls – one was sonia who I got to go out with 1^st & I fancied her so much, we kissed & fumbled but not too much then with was swop around & I got Helen, who I klnow fancied rick more than me but he had sonia. I wanted her back but she didn’t want me. Other girl was sam. Who had been with rick, now with other boy. She was next for me on our rotation….lol these 3 girls were kinda semi-skinhead gilrls – Helen was most skin, sonia & sam wore the tight jeans, boots & harringtons or bomberjackets yet had long hair. I was punk/mod/hippy, rick total mod and greg? Was a flickhead/smoothie. So it got to be me & sam & then we fragmented. Rick went out with lisa from up my road for an awesome love session spanning many weeks & a suspected pregnancy & marriage…man we were 15?

Sam invited me to go on holiday with her to Amsterdam for a week to visit her sister. Cool, o0k I’ll go! So on the night before we go to Amsterdam me & rick meet up with 2 girls, Debbie (piggy) and polo. Hell I’d lost my virginity to Debbie about 6 months previously & we hadn’t seen each other since & polo (cunt – cuz she was rumoured to be so tight that hjer cunt was polo sized – oh we boyz and our nicknames!) fancied the pants off rick. Needless to say we ended up in a half bulkit house. In one of the to be bedrooms me & Debbie got down to it & various trousers were pulkled half way down & sexual relations were done & she was way better than the 1^st time I’d known her. Maybe cuz I’d done it a few other times so I knew what could be done.

My 1^st time was with her. One time hanging out with the scooterboys & girls of the kingsmen scooter club (they – the kingsmen, had a 7” single – mod band, singing the classic ‘louie louie’) in the field next to the woods – where we rode the laqmbretta 125. well, there were about 7 boys and a vaguely equal number of girls. Alsin was there too – a friend I used to call on in the council flats & read her jacqui comics and true love photo stories. Well she told me Debbie loved me & wanted me to fuck her tonight. Well, I was flattered and a bit scared, being a virgin & all. Alison saqid it was cool, cuz we could get some condoms at the welcome – local pub. Which I’d been going into for a few weeks & getting pissed on mild – then progressing to Tetley bitter, so a trip to the bogs for a pack of 3. and back to the fields where everyone was still waiting. Then somehow we all started running for a good place in the woods – between the trees!

Me & debs ended up ina place not too far from entrance to the woods from the field. Most of our clothes stayed on though our pants came down & really did I put on condom, did I enter her? Dunno. Just recall being on top of her, thinking is this it? She never moved a muscle & I cant remember moving at all either. But then it was done 7 we had to get dressed. Meanwhile some mad mods had been running thru the woods whooping & causing consternation & we found, as getting dressed that debs had lost or had her shoes stolen. Never did find them again, bastards! & then aftyer, I  knew I wasn’t a virgin anymore. Big fucking deal!!!!

So this 2^nd time, was way more interesting can remember getting into it & enjoying myself! & hopefully she did to – think a while after this we did actually go out with each other for a bit as bf & gf – though cant remember doing the sex thing anymore, oh well. Anyroad I was fucking her in a less than half built house on the eve of going on a sexy holiday with my gf sam to the mecca of Amsterdam! What a bad bad man!

So me & her arrived in Amsterdam, met her sister – about 20 something, took us down many streets showing us shops, seeing many old guys wearing biker leathers (a drop out for old hells angels – me wearing scooter boys denim jacket!) went to a crossroads & then to her flat. Met austere german or dutch boyfriend – very distant & butch. Had lots of spliffs, then as we were very tired gave us much speed, then I remember having some opium – smoked…I was I daze during this 24 hour party…mustve crashed eventually. Next day saw sam sunbathing out in the yard topless! Her breasts looked tiny – like 2 fried eggs…thought backl to Debbie & her full pendulous brests & then I was not so much into sam – yeah she looked real pretty – much more so than Debbie but her personality seemed a bit weird to me then, like I couldn’t connect with what or where her mind was at. She seemed very distant. & we went out to a night club together yet somehow got split up. Think I xcame back to where we were staying yet sam fell asleep in the touilets & woke up locked in this bar/club. Guess this was the start of the bad times cuz ever after during our week she wouldn’t talk to me or be nice to me at all. Which was no big deal to me cuz I was in Amsterdam & fucking loved it – I, we didn’t do any more drugs -0 well maybe a spliff here & there but nothing so hectic as our 1^st night. Still I was in my element. Around the last day or days we started to walk down by the canals hand in hand but it was just as friends as we split up soon as we came back to the uk. Shame, she was gorgeous & we could’ve been real good together but I never felt that connexion with her.

I was nos stranger to weed, marijuana, grass, blow, smoke, stuff….as since I was 14 I used to bunk off school & go visit my hero at his squat. Andrew walters or duibs? Cants remember his nickname at the mo. But hgis face was the spitting image of Johnny rotten – sorry no sex now for a bit – reminiscence in full effect, maybe a bit more later! How did I know aboyut him? Well I got intyo fucking shed loads of trouble at high school – due to bleaching & dyeing my hair & wearing punk clothers & later for truancy…it was all opf a similar muchness. When I found o0put biggles lived in a squat at entropy cottage I invited myself down often when I was meant to be in school lessons. I visited biggles some times at hbis home. Top floor flat at the permanent building society skyscraper as his paerents were the securioty guards. Met his hand-made tartan suit there. And got into being his mate. During luch breaks – avoiding the usual; school crap I’d try & do some art cuz mrs clawson, art teachere, was nice to me – I’d see pencil a3 size pictures of Johnny rotten done by an awesome artist – mrs clawson said it was Andrew/biggles – I had to meet him (punk y’see) and I did thru luch time art sessions & he seemed a private yet happy person I think I was a bit too over the trop enthusiastic – like always but still he seemed to be my friend & introduced me to dolby – at lawnswood too – who wopuld tell me when he went & saqw the sex pistols live. I nearly did too, cuz during the miners strike, near xmas 1978 they were doing a miners benefit in Sheffield. Dad asked us 3 boys if we wanted to go….but unfortunately it mayve been same evening that the beATLES yellow submarine was shown on tv – so we opted for the animation in stead of rock n roll history or infamy.

Yeah, whatever, so having being introduced to biggles I now wanted to be him & wanted to live his punk rock life. So 4 out of 5 school days I’d spend down his squat at entgropy cottage – with the frak brothers round the corner with lots of smokable grass. And I’d get stoned listening about his band’the problems’ and meet his girlfriend ‘sandy’ who was shagfging someone else – we all found out later. And dolby witgh his polo necks would turn up occasionally & we’d do mushrooms & dolby’d tell us aboutr getting beaten up doping shrooms & laughing about it. I loved it & sometimes I’d stay over on the floor or a liberated sofa or something.

But I still had a life at home too.

Quite! Last night couldn’t sleep so thought of this – from midnight til 3 am! How many girls have I actually been with? Huh? Well I once suggested 50….lol! as if?! 10? More realistic – will try & name them now: Debbie 1^st. andrea – girlfriend at school! No sex, Katie robb-webb, gf – no sex, izzy – gf (cousin of kate) no sex, angie – smooch – no sex (mate of Alison – jason’s gf), michelle white – heavy petting – licked her out but no sex by me, think andi fucked her! Racheal…..from the cookridge youth club – yeah we had sex, I loved her arse! And ripped jeans and her innocent face and beautiful smile and her bezzy mate was jane – who rick got with, infatuated probably. Paul, wanted to go with racheal cuz she was so lovely – I said go for it paul, if you think you can – don’t think he ever managed to snog or owt! Shame lolz.

Oh yeah Maggie, in deepest tinshill, mustve met via the local pub the welcome, probs been mentioned before, she used to do some babysitting & I used to go along with her. To tear down her stockings and fuck her non the carpet in front of the fire. She had mega strong curly hair and an amazing laugh, a wicked glint in her eye and a strong gypsy vibe about her! I thought she was awesome! I was so happy to share her babysitting duties cuz it involved much much full on sex! One time, even deeper in tinshill – midway almost into horsforth I guess, we had a shared night in some council flats – me and mags, rick & lisa maybe…and me & mags went for the penetration full on! I specifically remember her on-top riding my cock with a vigour and enthusiasm that has been pretty much unparalleled since! She was on fire! -  ive always thought this was the actual night when our daughter was conceived, yeah my first child.